Nothing I can do except facing the reality!!! (>_<)

***TUHAN BERSAMA MAHASISWA TINGKAT AKHIR***

It's 7 o'clock in the morning, and I'm already in front of my computer doing nothing for my skripsi. It's not because I'm too enchanted by the Internet and its pleasures, but because I don't know what to write. I've never imagined that it will be this hard.

So far, I've been trying to revise three chapters which keep needing many materials. Okay, in fact my research proposal has not finished yet. Desperately, I have to add another research question, so I have three now. If the gossip is real, the skripsi preparation seminar will be held approximately 2 weeks later. God! Help.

Seeing or asking my topic, I really hate when some of my friends say that my qualitative study will be easy. They know nothing! A case study needs many things to do, in depth investigation. And now I'm stuck with it. I don't know what to do. I'm totally confused!!!!

Aaaaaaaa...............!!! I envy with my friends who have graduated.--Bella, Adek, Arma, Echi, Een, Chacha, Tami, Ochi, Ms.Sonya, and many more!!! I don't want to make any skripsi or whatever their names... Can I just go to schools and teach? I'm sure it will be more fun!!! Huhuhu.

Okay, I'm getting not realistic. Wake up, girl...!!! Fiewh! I think  need my friends now. It will be a lot of easier and more encouraging when doing it together. But it's hard to see each other now. We have difficulties in meeting our schedules. And it means that I have to depend on myself.

Dear mind.

This time I need your participation to think. I know that I rarely use you in my daily life, but please be nice with me now. I need you. Don't be stupid okay? Or, what do you need? I will give whatever you want when you finished helping me doing it. Candy? Ice cream? Travelling abroad? Singapore, deal? Okay, you obviously know I'm making an effort on it. I'm working hard to collect money to buy you and your body a ticket to backpack there. So, please mind. You will do it for me, won't you? :*

Hug and kiss.

Gw, Mela, Pacar, Calon Pacar, Kriteria Pacar, Tanpa Pacar. Arrghhh!!!

Hari ini adalah hari kesekian gw nonton bioskop sama Mela, sahabat gw dari SMP. Kenapa gw bilang kesekian adalah karena memang udah gak keitung lagi berapa kali kita nonton bersama, tanpa pacar. PACAR! Argh, kita berdua emang gak pernah gak ngomongin pacar.

Kapan kita punya pacar?

Pertanyaan itu yang selalu menjadi akhir diskusi kami tentang makhluk yang bernama pacar. Entah kenapa, kita agak sial dalam percintaan. Mungkin memang belum saatnya, itu cara kami (atau cuma gw) menghibur diri. Pacar. Ya, gw pengen banget punya pacar. Tapi punya pacar itu gak semudah itu!

Kadang, saking pengennya punya pacar, kadang kita suka mikir jahat, "Ah, biarin aja kita gak suka, terima siapa aja, yang penting punya pacar!" Tapi akhirnya kita sadar, kalo kita gak bisa gitu juga. Gimanapun kita mau pacar yang bener-bener kita sayang. Bukan sekedar status. Bener-bener bukan sekedar status! Harus bener-bener sayang, supaya gak ada yang tersakiti.

Gw akuin, gw emang kurang beruntung dalam masalah ini. Gak tau kenapa, sejak gw putus sama pacar terakhir gw, gw gak pernah bisa dapetin orang yang gw suka. Ada dua yang bener-bener bikin gw jatuh cinta. Satu orang pas gw SMA, dan satu lagi yang sekarang.

Selama SMA, gw sayang sama satu cowok selama tiga tahun (Hmm, mungkin ada yang menganggap dua, hehe. Well, tapi cuma yang satu ini yang mendalam...). Dia emang seseorang yang pantas dikagumi, dan memang banyak dikagumi. Tapi perasaan gw bukan sekedar kagum, I was in love. Parahnya, gw sadar dari awal kalo dia gak mungkin jadi pacar gw. Dan gw terus aja ngambil resiko untuk bertahan suka sama dia, sampe hari kelulusan tiba.

Pas kuliah, gw punya banyak gebetan, dari senior sampe junior. Tapi gak ada yang serius. Semuanya cuma supaya gw semangat ke kampus. Dan itu berhasil... Sampe suatu hari, gw jatuh cinta sama seseorang yang sepertinya juga gak akan jadi pacar gw. Dan anehnya, gw masih bisa dan masih pengen bertahan suka sama dia. Gw gak bisa nyalahin takdir, meskipun takdir bisa dirubah. Tapi Allah pasti tau yang terbaik buat gw. Jatuh cinta dan patah hati udah jadi bagian dari hidup gw. Jadi, gw gak akan nyerah dan kapok buat mencari cinta sejati gw. Semangat! -kilaz-