I dont know what's happening to me. I have been liking here, but lately I really hate here. Not all people here (and everywhere else) are nice, yeah I know that from the beginning, but if feels a little bit annoying to hear many 'reprovals' some which are not necessary. The invisible law, once again, makes me sick. I admit that some of the reprovals come from my mistakes, I accept if that's the case. But if it concludes seniority, I'm sorry I think you're the product of New Order.
I dont know, maybe I'm too much. I was warned because of attending a birthday invitation from my student. They said that I was supposed to not coming. Why? Wasn't it just an invitation? Dont we have to attend it? From Jabir r.a, it is stated that Rasulullah SAW said: إِذَا دُعِيَ أَحَدُكُمْ إِلَى طَعَامٍ فَلْيُجِبْ فَإِنْ شَاءَ طَعِمَ وَإِنْ شَاءَ تَرَكَ which means "If you are invited to a banquet, you should come. (After you come), if you want to eat the food so eat it, and if you dont want to eat the food so leave it." (Hadith History of Muslim)
Sometimes I feel that I dont belong here, I belong to somewhere else. Some of the rules here cant be accepted by my perception. So far I can say "yes and yes" trying to burry my ego inside. I did it, but lately it is poking little by little to the surface. I need some escape!
On Saturday I will go camping with my friends. I hope it can refresh my mind and my soul. I want to be free from this suck feeling. I miss my freedom.
