When Your Life is Filled with Whining and Nagging

Oh, well. Thank you for being here. I just want to share my feeling, as usual. "When Your Life is Filled with Whining and Nagging" is a really suitable title for me. I have been whined and nagged lately. I am not a big fan of better-not-to-mention place, but I'm not a hater also. It's not that I hate the peoples, I just don't like something there, and this something is really hard to explain.

I have read some books, telling that whining just waste our time. True. But it can't help me keep away from doing it. The more I enter the deeper part of the place, the more I found myself disappointed. Sometimes I hope there's a real scene like in the Mean Girl movie when we can reveal what bothers us without being afraid of the bullies. But since we are in the real world where many evil people live, we have to leave it behind.

Just accept what you get. Be grateful of what you have. Not so many people are lucky like me. Moreover, not so many people are unlucky like me. Life is fair though it doesn't seem so. To bury my jealousy and to burn my haughty, I have to believe that He gives what I need, not only what I want. If I can do it, I will live in peace.

For the Gentlemen in My Life: Thanks to You

People kept saying that yesterday was strange. Yeah, I kinda agree to that. Everyone got upset. Me was no exception. But thanks to you and dad, for the way different supports given to me.

My dad used to giving me objective opinion about something I'm whining and nagging about. Surprisingly, he didn't do something like that yesterday when I told him about someone who made me annoyed the other day. He said that there is a type of someone like that. I assumed he still remembered that I had told him the similar story with the similar person when I was still studying. He taught me some tips to get around with that--something honest, something hidden, and something whipping.

It went differently with my boyfriend. It went so objective that I got mad at him. Hehehe. I'm terribly sorry dear. Sometimes I just want to whine and nag without knowing whether or not I'm true. I cried because I disappointed with your response, not because my failure of getting in the school. I'm totally fine with that. I knew it before I got myself in, but I really had the desire to try because I was still afraid. I still can't handle my nervousness. And by following the test, I beat one of it.

You know, I am very grateful to have both of you. Danke. **widyakilaz**

"Life is a Lie with F"

I just want to be realistic. Life is not "whatever will be will be" just like some people say. We have to set it up. Not to be fake nor to be perfect. For sure, nothing's perfect on Earth. It's just so impossible to make all runs as we wish to. Whatever will be will be might happen, but only if we've tried our best. We can't "just let our lives flow". We have to live it well. You're not gonna waste your time for something you don't wish to happen, are you? Life's so short, don't let it gone by nothing. -kila

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To SORE, welcome back again to my life!

Sore, sebuah band indie yang mewakili seluruh euforia di sore hari--matahari terbenam, langit merah, udara sejuk, (kadang) rintik hujan, dan lelah--waktu di mana kita rindu rumah dan bermalas-malasan. Sangat menyenangkan mendengarkan lagu-lagu mereka di sore hari, ditemani dengan novel-novel kesayangan kita, dan segelas susu cokelat hangat--seperti yang kerap saya lakukan tiga tahun yang lalu saat masih menjadi freshman di kampus--sungguh waktu-waktu yang indah dan mengenangkan. Namun, kesibukan membuat saya lupa akan euforianya! Setiap hari, tugas dan kewajiban menggerogoti waktu saya yang cuma 24 jam per hari dan mengucapkan salam perpisahan kepada mereka.

Hari ini, sungguh mengejutkan, tiba-tiba saja saya terkenang oleh sebuah lagu Sore kesayangan saya--Etalase. Lagu yang sarat makna namun sederhana--tentang hidup, dan kenyataan bahwa tidak semua hal berjalan seperti yang kita harapkan. Seperti yang pernah saya katakan, "things do happen in life", dan kita tidak bisa menghindarinya. Semuanya mengalir, menjadi sebuah pembelajaran, dan dikenang sebagai sesuatu yang menjadikan kita manusia.

Etalase, Sore

Semua kisah yang pernah lalui hidupku
Semua cinta yang pernah
Engkau rasakan, dalam kisahmu
Pahit dan manismu,
Lalui…

Semua teman yang engkau sayang dan tinggalkan
Sengaja atau tidak, dirimu
Pernah lalui, cerita yang haru
Yang semua alami

Dan kita coba kenangi semua,
Walau t’lah tiada
Bagai etalase jendela…

Kau pernah kenal seorang yang sangat kau sayang
Kau pernah kenal seorang
Yang sangat kau benci, terasa perih
Hingga otakmu,
Meledak!

Semua sahabat yang pernah menghangatkan hidup
Satu persatu, menghilang…
Seiring waktu yang makin lama
Kian menua

Tapi kita coba kenangi semua,
Walau t’lah tiada
Bagai etalase jendela…

Begitulah, band kesayangan saya bercerita tentang hidup, semua terbingkai dalam sebuah etalase jendela, seperti saya mengenangi kalian semua. -kilaz

The Scene of Somebody's Life

I've been trying so long to get in there. No matter how hard I've tried, I fail and keep failing. It's been the hardest time of my life, and it's never this hard. Patience is my last try, and I'm sick now. I've just realized that I'm not that strong. I need a hand to wipe my tears, just like the previous days which full of fears. I feel that it's coming, the time when I should give up and let it go. -kilaz-