"I'm sorry for last night..."

Hi. I've just had dinner with my parents when suddenly I remembered how childish I was last night. Yeah, after some peaceful time, we had a fight. Yesterday, my boyfriend met his high school friend who moved in Surabaya because of her work. I allowed him to meet her, I was okay with that. But, he was there for too long.

First, I texted him at 5 asking if he met her or not. He replied my text at 6.30 saying that he's sorry for replying the text too long, it's because he was having a conversation with her parents. In the text, he said that after that he would go back to lab. "Oh, okay!" I thought.

At 21.30, I called him. My call was rejected. Then a text arrived. He said that he's on the way home. Once again,, I thought that he was heading to lab. But, he wasn't. He had just had some meal with his friend. And when he said on the way, it meant on the way to her house.

At 11, I called him and he said that he's just about to go home. What?! My heart burned. Jealousy came filling my heart. I thought, he wasn't there anymore. I got mad at him, really mad, and kept saying I thought and I thought. Soon as he arrived at lab, I called him. We talked for a moment, then his friend said that their lecturer looked for him.

Actually, I wanted to discuss what I was feeling inside. But considering the situation, I decided to end the call--with fire still burning inside me. I just wanted him to realize how I felt. At that time, actually I felt that I was too cruel but I just wanted him to know how hurt I was. I cried.

After some minutes, I fell asleep. All I want was I would feel better the next morning. Yeah, I did. But he didn't. I was supposed to know that he would not be able to act like nothing happened. He sent me a text, saying that he's sorry.

Before you think the wrong way, I want to emphasize that he didn't cheat. I was mad because he was there for too long, until almost in the middle of the night and because his texts were not clear enough telling what he's doing.

Yeah, you can call me possessive. I am. Not really, but maybe a bit. I just dont like he's with someone I dont know. I am not supposed to be insecure, but I just dont like it. I dont like him to be near a girl for too long, alone.

Okay, go back to the story. After receiving his text, I replied it. Unfortunately, his phone's off. I became worried, really really worried. At that time, I realized that I was too much. I tried again and again to call him, text him. I was supposed to know that he would be really different everytime we had a fight.

I was supposed to know that he's facing many problems lately. He has to take care of his final task, to take care of his responsibility, to take care of his friends, to take care of me, and I was supposed to be the one who made him happy. Last night? I gave him unpleasant thing, burdening him even heavier. For that, I'm really sorry.

This morning, I called him. We are fine already. I apologized. He apologized. And now, I just want to be more patient, to hear more, not using my oversensitive feeling, and I'm sure everything will be okay. Sometimes, I dont know why, I am very sensitive about us, otherwise I am very ignorance about what people think about me. I dont care what they say about me, what prank they make about me, I really dont mind the make jokes about me, even in front of my face. But related to my relationship, I am really sensitive.

Well... Love. It can change anything. If love is blind, yes I think I agree. It can make people do what they use to do. But love is pure, it's full of beauty. I am lucky to be able to feel it. *widyakilaz*